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| Welcome to the Maineeventmnp.com Relationship Advice Blog. Dear Love and Lust Ask us a question, about love, lust, sex, marriage, or anything that may come to your mind & our panel (Meagan, Tanya and The Gentleman) will do their best to answer them. Expect posts to this blog once a week. This is for entertainment purposes only. The panel represented are not trained professionals. The advice given is pure opinion and based on panels personal thoughts alone. But if you ask me, it's still some pretty damn good advice! ;) email your questions (with the Subject Line Dear Love & Lust) to admin@maineeventmnp.com |
| Dear LOVE & LUST... |
| LOVE & LUST COLUMN FOR JULY 19th, 2008. Dear Love & Lust: I have a problem. I am a 21 yr old female who had a friend with benefits 2 yrs ago. We stopped the benefits because it went from fun, to the question of should we get serious. Neither of us wanted to get serious because we knew we were only physically compatible, so we just went our separate ways. A couple days ago a friend of mine invited me to her new crib she just got with her new boyfriend. To my surprise her new boyfriend was my old friend with benefits. My question is should I tell her my history with her new boyfriend or just act like nothing happened between us at all? Which isn't impossible because we kept our benefits on the low, I mean no one knew we had a thing, it was our secret? What do you think? Please help, anonymous |
Meagan: Well Anonymous, I think you should DEFINITELY tell your friend about you and her man’s previous “arrangement”. If
you wanna keep her as a friend. You want to tell her first so you can have the opportunity to tell your side of things. Better
safe than sorry, because you don’t know how he will try to portray you. Now I’m not advising that you give your friend details
about your little sex-capades. Just inform her of the fact that you and him use to deal. Believe me she does not want to hear a
play-by-play of you doing HER man. Now if you don’t tell her and it comes out later from him or even worse someone else,
trust me it is not going to look good on your part. She is going to feel like she can’t trust you and perhaps you still want him. So
I say tell her. And honey, never assume that no one knows, nobody is that slick lol! People are more observant than you’d like
to think ;-)
you wanna keep her as a friend. You want to tell her first so you can have the opportunity to tell your side of things. Better
safe than sorry, because you don’t know how he will try to portray you. Now I’m not advising that you give your friend details
about your little sex-capades. Just inform her of the fact that you and him use to deal. Believe me she does not want to hear a
play-by-play of you doing HER man. Now if you don’t tell her and it comes out later from him or even worse someone else,
trust me it is not going to look good on your part. She is going to feel like she can’t trust you and perhaps you still want him. So
I say tell her. And honey, never assume that no one knows, nobody is that slick lol! People are more observant than you’d like
to think ;-)
Tanya:
DON”T SAY NOTHING!! And if he tells her before you, he’s a fool too. That’s my first reaction. But it all depends on
the relationship you have with your home-girl and how you are currently feeling towards homeboy. If you feel like him and you
might have a relapse, tell her. If you don’t feel a relapse coming, then I wouldn’t stress it. But my most important advice to give
you is to stay away from both of them. If you don’t want drama that would be the best thing!
DON”T SAY NOTHING!! And if he tells her before you, he’s a fool too. That’s my first reaction. But it all depends on
the relationship you have with your home-girl and how you are currently feeling towards homeboy. If you feel like him and you
might have a relapse, tell her. If you don’t feel a relapse coming, then I wouldn’t stress it. But my most important advice to give
you is to stay away from both of them. If you don’t want drama that would be the best thing!
Gentleman:
This is never an easy situation. And my guess is he chose your home-girl on purpose. It’s another way of
getting your attention. If you two were getting serious during you’re romper room days, his feelings may not have left and this
is a way of hurting you, like you may have hurt him. Don’t let guys fool you. They hold grudges even more than some of you
females do. But I agree with Tanya if you don’t want drama stay away from both of them. And to be fair to your home-girl send
her an email or text message explaining why you won’t be around her very often if at all anymore.
This is never an easy situation. And my guess is he chose your home-girl on purpose. It’s another way of
getting your attention. If you two were getting serious during you’re romper room days, his feelings may not have left and this
is a way of hurting you, like you may have hurt him. Don’t let guys fool you. They hold grudges even more than some of you
females do. But I agree with Tanya if you don’t want drama stay away from both of them. And to be fair to your home-girl send
her an email or text message explaining why you won’t be around her very often if at all anymore.
| Dear Love & Lust: My girlfriend of 2 yrs suddenly wants to go clubbing with her home-girls. No I don't have an issue with her going to the club, but I do have an issue with her going to the club with her home-girls who are all single? As fifty cent says, "you know how it get in the club"? Am I tripping? Or should I have good reason to feel the way I do? Mr Blockbuster Nights |
Meagan: Hmmm, I don’t know about this one Mr. BN, that doesn’t sit well with me either. My question is, are you guys having
any problems? If so or you don’t know, I think you need to sit the “party-girl” down and have a heart to heart. Because if this is
out of the blue then something’s up. But it seems to me like honey is out scouting for a replacement. Playa you’re about to get
traded lol! See women are slick as hell! So she isn’t just gonna up and leave you without first finding someone to take your
place. What chick you know wants to be alone? Let me answer that…NONE lol! And another thing, get rid of those bitter-horny-
no man having ass-friends too! They are haters, whether they realize it or not. Trust me, they are probably bashing you and
telling her she needs to see what else is out there. Ya ass is probably already broken up with and you’re just the last to find
out. So don’t sit around too long, because I gotta a feeling you’re gonna come home one day and they’ll all be singing “TO THE
LEFT! TO THE LEFT!”
any problems? If so or you don’t know, I think you need to sit the “party-girl” down and have a heart to heart. Because if this is
out of the blue then something’s up. But it seems to me like honey is out scouting for a replacement. Playa you’re about to get
traded lol! See women are slick as hell! So she isn’t just gonna up and leave you without first finding someone to take your
place. What chick you know wants to be alone? Let me answer that…NONE lol! And another thing, get rid of those bitter-horny-
no man having ass-friends too! They are haters, whether they realize it or not. Trust me, they are probably bashing you and
telling her she needs to see what else is out there. Ya ass is probably already broken up with and you’re just the last to find
out. So don’t sit around too long, because I gotta a feeling you’re gonna come home one day and they’ll all be singing “TO THE
LEFT! TO THE LEFT!”
Tanya: TRUST? Do you trust her? If you don’t then you do have a problem, and you might as well listen to what Meagan said
and start moving your stuff to the left. If you do trust her, then let her do her thing, but gently & I do mean gently remind her
that all her friends are single for a reason. And if she doesn’t want to be like them pick and choose her club nights wisely. If
she is really about you, then you’ll have nothing to worry about you.
and start moving your stuff to the left. If you do trust her, then let her do her thing, but gently & I do mean gently remind her
that all her friends are single for a reason. And if she doesn’t want to be like them pick and choose her club nights wisely. If
she is really about you, then you’ll have nothing to worry about you.
Gentleman: Be real with yourself, you want to go to the club just as much as she does. But you don’t because you care about
the lady you are with & you know what kind of atmosphere the club scene can be. The fact that she is going out with her single
girlfriends sets off your warning system. If I were you, I would go to the club with my single homeboys and see how she feels
about that. Then you will truly find out her intentions for clubbin’ with her single girlfriends. I know it sounds tic for tac but in this
instant it may be necessary. It may ease both of your insecurities or may lead you to break up. If you break up then it lets you
know you weren’t meant to be in the 1st place. But hey that’s just my opinion. I just hope you don’t catch me dancing with her in
the club.
the lady you are with & you know what kind of atmosphere the club scene can be. The fact that she is going out with her single
girlfriends sets off your warning system. If I were you, I would go to the club with my single homeboys and see how she feels
about that. Then you will truly find out her intentions for clubbin’ with her single girlfriends. I know it sounds tic for tac but in this
instant it may be necessary. It may ease both of your insecurities or may lead you to break up. If you break up then it lets you
know you weren’t meant to be in the 1st place. But hey that’s just my opinion. I just hope you don’t catch me dancing with her in
the club.
| Dear Love & Lust: I love my man, and will do anything to please him. So without him even asking i offered to set up a threesome for us. I thought it would excite him, because he can be so freaky & experimental I thought it would be something he would want to do. But it backfired? Now he thinks I'm not satified by him, and that everything we've done before was a lie, & I've been faking. He said "If I'm so good, why would you want to invite someone else into our bed?" Now I'm sad, he won't even let me touch him. I'm stuck watching our own home videos for any ounce of excitement. How can i fix this? Miss 2 freaky 4 my own good. |
Gentleman: Well Miss 2 Freaky, I'll have to say your man is good! He's playing you, trying to send you on a guilt trip. He's
doing exactly what he feels you would have done to him, had he ask you to do the threesome. That man's a playa a damn
good one!! He honestly wants to do the threesome, like most men would, but I think he does care about you, and whatever
relationship you two have. And he's smart enough to act like this, because he want's to seem considerate of your feelings. It's
not about him it's about you. If he seemed too eager to participate in the threesome then your feelings would be hurt. And then
he might be the one writing the love & lust column today looking for advice to make it up to you. So my suggestion is take a
deep breath & relax. Set it up where he catches you getting all hot & bothered to your home videos you two made. I bet you
he'll be all over you then.
doing exactly what he feels you would have done to him, had he ask you to do the threesome. That man's a playa a damn
good one!! He honestly wants to do the threesome, like most men would, but I think he does care about you, and whatever
relationship you two have. And he's smart enough to act like this, because he want's to seem considerate of your feelings. It's
not about him it's about you. If he seemed too eager to participate in the threesome then your feelings would be hurt. And then
he might be the one writing the love & lust column today looking for advice to make it up to you. So my suggestion is take a
deep breath & relax. Set it up where he catches you getting all hot & bothered to your home videos you two made. I bet you
he'll be all over you then.
Tanya:
Girl what are you doing? You are giving away too much. You have spoiled this man beyond belief and now he want’s to act like
a little baby now that you asked him to share his candy. He must have that good, good if you are willing to go to such far
lengths to please him. You better be careful what you ask for because it may come true, unfortunately it won’t be in the way
you thought it would be.
Girl what are you doing? You are giving away too much. You have spoiled this man beyond belief and now he want’s to act like
a little baby now that you asked him to share his candy. He must have that good, good if you are willing to go to such far
lengths to please him. You better be careful what you ask for because it may come true, unfortunately it won’t be in the way
you thought it would be.
Meagan:
Ok first of all, you’re good! Because, ummm, Meagan does NOT share, Hell to the Nah! Sharing is caring, it could be fun MY
ASS! I mean don’t get it twisted, I’m not knocking you, that’s just not MY thing. Damn, Homeboy is playin you like Atari. I don’t
know too many dudes who wouldn’t want a threesome. Let alone get mad enough to cut off the “D” because you offered one.
Nah boo-boo I’m not buying it. You need to step your juice-box up! Don’t you know the power of your goodies? You’re tripping,
you don’t let a dude ration it out to you, that’s your job. In my opinion a threesome is usually only good in fantasy, because
somebody always ends up feeling some type of way. And you damn sure don’t want that somebody to be you girl. I say solve
this the old-fashioned way, seduce his ass. Take a shower and get out when he arrives. Then start oiling up, girl once he see
the water glistening all over ya booooddddyyyyy he won’t be able to resist
Ok first of all, you’re good! Because, ummm, Meagan does NOT share, Hell to the Nah! Sharing is caring, it could be fun MY
ASS! I mean don’t get it twisted, I’m not knocking you, that’s just not MY thing. Damn, Homeboy is playin you like Atari. I don’t
know too many dudes who wouldn’t want a threesome. Let alone get mad enough to cut off the “D” because you offered one.
Nah boo-boo I’m not buying it. You need to step your juice-box up! Don’t you know the power of your goodies? You’re tripping,
you don’t let a dude ration it out to you, that’s your job. In my opinion a threesome is usually only good in fantasy, because
somebody always ends up feeling some type of way. And you damn sure don’t want that somebody to be you girl. I say solve
this the old-fashioned way, seduce his ass. Take a shower and get out when he arrives. Then start oiling up, girl once he see
the water glistening all over ya booooddddyyyyy he won’t be able to resist
| You are listening to "A Luv Song" by Jae Butta ft. Coasta (Fly Boi Music Group) |
| Dear Love & Lust For July 28th, 2008: Dear love & lust, I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years. Recently I found out that he has cheated on me. Now, I found out about her through a third party but of course he denied everything. The part that kills me is that she also lied about having any contact with my man. There were so many occasions where she would see my man and I together, kissing, hugging and everything else a couple does. But she still denied messing with him. I just found out that they were messing around after all. She even has his name tattooed on her. He says he messed up and that he doesn’t know why he did it. We're trying to work things out but as far as trust issues I have 0% trust in him, but I love him so much and I want to work things out. My question is am I doing the right thing? How many chances do you give a person that you love? What should I do? From: Anonymous |
Meagan:
Damn girl, this is crazy. Shoot you're good, cus ummmm Meagan don't play that. Girl if that was me, both of them would be in
the damn ER! Ya dig! Especially honey because she lied to you after you gave her an opportunity to be honest. And we
already know the dude is gonna lie. Man, you can have his ass on tape, an eye witness and his DNA at the scene of the act
and the dude is still gonna deny it. Talking about "Nah shawty tryna set me up, that ain't me"! Ohhh, R-Kelly in the face lookin-
boy (lmao)! Okay but on a serious note it’s admirable that you want to work things out. But you already said yourself that you
no longer trust him. And you can't have a successful, HAPPY and productive relationship without trust. I know breaking up is
hard especially after you've invested so much time and emotion. But trust me you deserve better. Now don't waste your time
trying to work it out with a six and in the meantime let your perfect ten walk right by. Child there are plenty other men, great
ones. Now it’s up to you to go get his ass for the next chick does. And you better hurry up you know we outnumber them!
Damn girl, this is crazy. Shoot you're good, cus ummmm Meagan don't play that. Girl if that was me, both of them would be in
the damn ER! Ya dig! Especially honey because she lied to you after you gave her an opportunity to be honest. And we
already know the dude is gonna lie. Man, you can have his ass on tape, an eye witness and his DNA at the scene of the act
and the dude is still gonna deny it. Talking about "Nah shawty tryna set me up, that ain't me"! Ohhh, R-Kelly in the face lookin-
boy (lmao)! Okay but on a serious note it’s admirable that you want to work things out. But you already said yourself that you
no longer trust him. And you can't have a successful, HAPPY and productive relationship without trust. I know breaking up is
hard especially after you've invested so much time and emotion. But trust me you deserve better. Now don't waste your time
trying to work it out with a six and in the meantime let your perfect ten walk right by. Child there are plenty other men, great
ones. Now it’s up to you to go get his ass for the next chick does. And you better hurry up you know we outnumber them!
The Gentleman:
No! You are not doing the right thing. You can’t be involved with someone you don’t trust. Drama is the only thing you can
guarantee in that relationship. I’m still tripping over the details of your question. You’re with dude 6 yrs, he cheated on you with
a girl that his name tattooed on her body, and she knew that you & dude were together, but yet & still you want to work it out?
Dude must be holding it down like no other behind closed doors, for someone to put a tattoo of his name on their body knowing
that he is already with someone? Good Sex & Love can make you do crazy things. Money can also make you do even stranger
things but if you ask the gentleman neither of them are worth going insane for. Can you imagine the pain, & mental anguish you
would feel if this situation happened again? Now whose fault will that be. Fool me once okay fine. Fool me twice, it’s no ones
fault but mine.
No! You are not doing the right thing. You can’t be involved with someone you don’t trust. Drama is the only thing you can
guarantee in that relationship. I’m still tripping over the details of your question. You’re with dude 6 yrs, he cheated on you with
a girl that his name tattooed on her body, and she knew that you & dude were together, but yet & still you want to work it out?
Dude must be holding it down like no other behind closed doors, for someone to put a tattoo of his name on their body knowing
that he is already with someone? Good Sex & Love can make you do crazy things. Money can also make you do even stranger
things but if you ask the gentleman neither of them are worth going insane for. Can you imagine the pain, & mental anguish you
would feel if this situation happened again? Now whose fault will that be. Fool me once okay fine. Fool me twice, it’s no ones
fault but mine.
Tanya:
Umm, umm um, what a text book situation. I say since you have proof that this is true you want to 1) keep it as a mental note,
then think if you’re just finding out about this one person how many others could there have been. Is he worth getting put
through all that? Is the love you have for him worth more than your happiness. If you’re content in your relationship aside from
the current news then try and work through it. But only if YOU and HIM are willing to put in that work. If you feel like you can
do better than that situation, which you most likely can, than say "f**k that n__a" like Dream and keep it moving. Then see how
he acts when he sees that you’re serious. Don’t fall for it! No one, man or female deserves to be cheated when they're putting
there all into something. Good luck!
Umm, umm um, what a text book situation. I say since you have proof that this is true you want to 1) keep it as a mental note,
then think if you’re just finding out about this one person how many others could there have been. Is he worth getting put
through all that? Is the love you have for him worth more than your happiness. If you’re content in your relationship aside from
the current news then try and work through it. But only if YOU and HIM are willing to put in that work. If you feel like you can
do better than that situation, which you most likely can, than say "f**k that n__a" like Dream and keep it moving. Then see how
he acts when he sees that you’re serious. Don’t fall for it! No one, man or female deserves to be cheated when they're putting
there all into something. Good luck!
| Dear Love and Lust for August 7, 2008: I've been talking to this guy for about a week now. He is not from around here. I heard that he was in a bad relationship with this girl who was using him. This guy is everything I want in a man (well just for now, I don’t know him that well yet). Looks wise, he's handsome very tall, dark skin with a good body and nice muscles. We don’t talk (I mean text) that much, maybe like once or twice a day. When we do talk it’s in a text. All we do is text each other back & forth. When he texts me & it’s my turn to text him back I would call him instead but he wont answer my calls. I would even tell him to call me, but all he has to say is ''I will try. I have to get ready for work.'' I don’t want to let him go just yet, should I ask him out on a date so we can talk in person? Ms Phone Text. |
Meagan:
Okay this is a simple one. Sweety! Are you serious? Boo-boo come on NOW!! You know damn well, he has a
Girlfriend/Wifey/Boo/Shawty (whatever the hell it is, his ass got one lol!)
And that’s obvious, because he refuses to speak to you on the phone. Which is probably because she is around for the bulk
of the time, that his ass is trying to be sneaky texting you!
Now this could also mean that she is possessive and crazy. Because he won't even risk getting caught to at least set-up
the booty-call, Shoot! Come on, lol! In that case you better make like a Kappa and step, cause you don't want no problems!
Now Meme doesn't like to get violent, but you're gonna make me hurt you. Talking about, you don't want to let him go.
You're acting like you guys have made this deep connection and he's your "soulmate" LOL! You have known him about a
week. So what is that like 4 days lol! You haven't even spoke to him on the phone. Girl stop playing and erase his damn
number. If you wanna take a chance then by all means ask him out on that date. Just don't be surprised if you're left waiting in
the restaurant alone reading a text msg. that says "Sorry I couldn't make it Ma, I had to work. Text you lata! ;-)"
Tanya:
This is an OMG situation! Girl this man has issues and you need to move on. He’s either not feeling you or hes playing a
game that some men play where they try not to show too much interest too quickly. Either way you shouldn't waste your time
with him. You need to read the book" He’s just not that into you" by Greg Behrendt. I believe every woman should read this
book ASAP, it will answer a lot of questions you have. Don’t worry there’s plenty of men out there. Good luck
The Gentleman:
You know what ms phone text, I know the ladies may think it’s an obvious situation. But after re-reading your question I’ll have
to say go ahead and ask him on date. That’s the only way to find out if you are truly wasting your time. Not because he may
have another girl, but because he really does not want another girl. If he was hurt & used by another chic, he’s going to have
some bitterness. He’s not going to have the same respect for you that he may have had before the drama with the other chic.
I’m assuming that he has money, so that can be a factor in deterring him from seeming interested in you. It’s hard when
you’re a G. you have major trust issues with everyone. You want to know what does that person really want? So I suggest
you tell him or should I say text him what’s really on your biscuit, in order to truly get an answer. Ahhh, the gentleman has
spoken.
Okay this is a simple one. Sweety! Are you serious? Boo-boo come on NOW!! You know damn well, he has a
Girlfriend/Wifey/Boo/Shawty (whatever the hell it is, his ass got one lol!)
And that’s obvious, because he refuses to speak to you on the phone. Which is probably because she is around for the bulk
of the time, that his ass is trying to be sneaky texting you!
Now this could also mean that she is possessive and crazy. Because he won't even risk getting caught to at least set-up
the booty-call, Shoot! Come on, lol! In that case you better make like a Kappa and step, cause you don't want no problems!
Now Meme doesn't like to get violent, but you're gonna make me hurt you. Talking about, you don't want to let him go.
You're acting like you guys have made this deep connection and he's your "soulmate" LOL! You have known him about a
week. So what is that like 4 days lol! You haven't even spoke to him on the phone. Girl stop playing and erase his damn
number. If you wanna take a chance then by all means ask him out on that date. Just don't be surprised if you're left waiting in
the restaurant alone reading a text msg. that says "Sorry I couldn't make it Ma, I had to work. Text you lata! ;-)"
Tanya:
This is an OMG situation! Girl this man has issues and you need to move on. He’s either not feeling you or hes playing a
game that some men play where they try not to show too much interest too quickly. Either way you shouldn't waste your time
with him. You need to read the book" He’s just not that into you" by Greg Behrendt. I believe every woman should read this
book ASAP, it will answer a lot of questions you have. Don’t worry there’s plenty of men out there. Good luck
The Gentleman:
You know what ms phone text, I know the ladies may think it’s an obvious situation. But after re-reading your question I’ll have
to say go ahead and ask him on date. That’s the only way to find out if you are truly wasting your time. Not because he may
have another girl, but because he really does not want another girl. If he was hurt & used by another chic, he’s going to have
some bitterness. He’s not going to have the same respect for you that he may have had before the drama with the other chic.
I’m assuming that he has money, so that can be a factor in deterring him from seeming interested in you. It’s hard when
you’re a G. you have major trust issues with everyone. You want to know what does that person really want? So I suggest
you tell him or should I say text him what’s really on your biscuit, in order to truly get an answer. Ahhh, the gentleman has
spoken.